As I write this, my tv is tuned to The Daily Show with Jon Stewart for some reason. (Yeah, I know - who really watches stuff like that besides Chris Matthew's fanboys?) So anyway, I have a question to ask America tonight:
Please Respond As Indicated:
1) Do any of you watch The Daily Show?
2) If you answered yes to 1, then tell me if you actually find him funny?
3) If you answered yes to 2, then tell me exactly when you contracted the AIDS virus (Acquired Intelligence Deficiency Syndrome)
(ADD moment: I misspelled 'deficiency' with a typo, and Firefox's inline spell check offered several alternatives, most notably 'defecation'. Let the potty humor punchlines commence!)
Sorry, we got WAAY off topic. Why does Stewart have a show? He isn't funny. I had to wipe the sarcasm off my tv several times since Stewart kept dripping it all over the place. Very sloppy.
Now my brain is tired from all this - or maybe because it's 1 AM. Time for some mindless humor...oh wait, I already watched Jon Stewart tonight. Well, not the humor part - he's not that funny - so I guess only the 'mindless' part applies. I think I'll put on C-SPAN and see if they're replaying this weekend's House vote on the Pelosi-care bill. That would be funny, in a 'Oh dear Lord, have these idiots even read the Constitution ever?????' kind of way.
ADD moment: A see a new TV show - clips of Congress voting or debating all kids of stuff, while being made fun of by the silhouettes of robots in theater seats at the bottom of the screen. Call it "Mystery Congress Theater 2009". Wait, instead of robots, put some guys like Franklin, Washington, Madison, Hamilton, and especially Thomas Jefferson down there, making fun of our elected idiots.
ADD moment within and ADD moment: (That's a nested ADD moment for the nerds among us). How about an anime kids cartoon along the lines of Voltron or something. Scanners pick up a monster (or Ro-Beast in Voltron terms) approaching - it's Pelosi-tron!!! So the Founders launch their ships or whatever to attack Pelosi-tron (or Pelosi-saurus or whatever). Franklin yells "Firing liberty lasers!" but Pelositron isn't hurt at all. Jefferson then launches some Separation Of Powers missiles, but she counters that as well. Then Samuel Jackson, uhh, I mean, Adams yells out that they need to form "Libertytron" or some sort of super weapon robot thing (c'mon, think Voltron and the lions...or am I dating myself here?). I can imagine it now - as each Founder's little ship joins, the pilot yells out something like "Freedom of the press!", then another "Checks and balances", then another "The rights of man are not granted to him by government, but rather by his Creator - the power of government exists at the pleasure of the people it serves!", then another "Federalism - States still have some sovereign rights under the 10th amendment!". Then all the Founders' little ships come together to form the big robot thing (like Voltron) - come up with your own anime name. All I can think of is Constitutionotron. Then Pelositron sees Constitutionotron and roars "More taxes! Bigger governnment!! Yargh!!!!" or something like that. Then Constitutionotron says "Form 2nd Ammendment KickAss weapon".
(a little explanation: in the old Voltron cartoon, the monster would attack, then the robot lions would respond unsuccessfully and get kicked around a lot. Only then would one of the lion pilots think about forming Voltron, then doing the "Form Blazing Sword!" thing, at which point Voltron would make this lightsaber thing and dispatch the Ro-Beast. I always wondered why they never just formed Voltron in the first place and whoop the Ro-beast then.)
So Constitutionotron forms the 2nd Amendment Kickass weapon and slices Pelositron in two - just as Barney Frankasaurus attacks from the rear.
Oh dear Lord. TOO MANY JOKES!!! TOO MANY BAD JOKES!! CAN'T STAY SERIOUS FOR MUCH LONGER!!!! MUST STOP LAUGHING AND TURN CAPSLOCK OFF!!!
Ahh, much better. (Pause while I pick myself up off the floor.) Wow, that was crazy. Attack "from the rear". Sorry about that. Anyway, do you think that would make a good kids cartoon? I'd like to watch it just to see Thomas Jeffferson get all constitutional on our government's collective butt.
Okay, sorry for the long post, and especially sorry for the ADD moment thing. I should probably go to sleep. Good night.
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8 comments:
I don't watch him because he's not that funny.
Stop eating the purple pills! They're not Skittles.
If I'm going to watch a talking hirsute bobble head at night, it's probably going to be Conan O'Brien. He's about as close as I'd get to "political commentator."
Politicians swing to close to the egotist pole for me, which unfortunately, you probably have heard me say before. :)
I mean, at least Conan is funny--right? And when he's not, you get to watch him do a little Irish jig. And that is funny. :P
Dang, did you slip me a purple pill or something?
Oh, I typoed! "swing too close"
Rats.
lol - I didn't even catch that typo.
Something fun to try: google "hirsute bobble head" and see what comes up. On second thought, knowing the internet as I do, that may not be the best idea ;)
I have hit my quota on web shockers for the week, as I had to Google the name Merkin, which turned out to be, well. . . something unexpected. *shiver*
Even with your tag *shiver*, I was compelled to google "merkin" for myself. Not what I was expecting....
I once typed in whitehouse.com instead of .gov back in the 90s (the Clinton era). It brought me to a porn site, which I assumed was the White House web page under Clinton (insert your own Lewinsky joke here).
Hmm, where are my purple Skittles now?
ADD moment: Does the faint whisper of "Skittles. Taste the rainbow" in Skittles ads sound a little ghostly or demonic? Maybe it's just me.
"Skittles. . . taste the rainbow" It's sort of faerie-like to me, with a touch of eerie leprechaun.
Yeah, you ended up on whitehouse.com by "accident"--sure--right. No, no, I believe you.
:>
I had never even heard of a merkin. OMG now I think there aren't enough skittles in the world....
and I agree, he is NOT funny.
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