You can make your own superhero!! He comes with a special power - here's mine.
They had a lightsaber I wanted as well, but the spatula made me realize I'm a little hungry now (no food all day and most of Friday, lousy sickness), so survival won out, and he got the spatula.
I couldn't resist checking out Failblog again...and here's what I found.
Now my sides hurt from too much hilarity. I need oxygen after watching the golfer pee in his golf club. I mean, come on!
If today's problems just whiz right through you, or if peeps just leave you a tad peeved at times, or if the boss treats you like a tiny pissant, or if you're having trouble deciding what should be Number One in your life.... Fail Blog is there for you, ready with laughs galore.
(Drug warning: These thoughts and rantings, while perfectly true in some ways, may be affected by my use of Nyquil to overcome some nasty cold symptoms, so please look at this post through some "De-Nyquilifying" lenses. Thank you.)
In a world inundated with idiocy, spilling over with stupidity, and manacled with morons.... today I found a dim, dim ray of light shining through the darkness (as well as a fun new game called "Let's Make Alliterative Synonyms for Dumb People).
A tiny sliver of light in the Great Big Darkness Of Stupidity....
Of course, I'm referring to Texas' own illustrious governor, Rick Perry. Or, as some of us fondly call him, Rick 'Audios, mofo' Perry.
(edit) Just for laughs, try looping Perry's "farewell" over and over again. And over. And over. The laughter just never subsides!!
I've never been much of a Perry fan(Go Kinky Friedman ha ha) but I heard on the news as I drove home this evening that Gov. Perry has refused $550 million in Federal stimulus funds for unemployment benefits, mostly because the money comes with a few too many 'strings'. (No links to articles or anything tonight, just google it for yourself and you'll see)
WHAT??? You mean Perry actually told the federales what they can go do? You mean he actually asserted the Sovereignty of States? You mean he actually did something that reaffirms the idea from the US Constitution that the federal government serves at the behest of the states?? According to the 10th amendment, if the particular power in question isn't explictly given to the federales, AND it isn't denied to the states (like making their own treaties with foreign nations): then, if those two conditions are met, then any such powers in question are reserved for the States. Of course, you would never guess this amendment even existed anymore, at least since the 20th century began, as we can see from a historical perspective that the federales have been slowly concentrating power ever since the end of the Civil War...and sometimes, not so slowly (can we say "buying interests in banks", anyone?"
Oh, sorry, this soapbox appeared out of nowhere for some odd reason. Well, no sense in letting it go to waste! (Downs another shot of Nyquil for good measure...uhh, nasty green stuff)
So, just as the constitution kinda says that, if it ain't delegated to the federales, and it ain't prohibited to the states, then it's reserved for the states. And if that wasn't enough, you have the US Senate, as it was originally conceived. Before the 17th amendment, senators were chosen by the states' legislatures, not the people. The Senate served 2 purposes - longer terms than the House and election by states meant that it could serve as an impediment to the People should they get carried away by some demagogue shouting "CRISIS!! CRISIS!!!" every time he speaks. Longer terms meant they would be in power longer than their counterparts in the House, so passing fancy would theoretically be checked by the Senate. And election of senators by the state legislatures meant that the Senate also served as the States representation in Washington. That's why they each got two of them. In effect, the argument can be made that the federal government was created not just at the pleasure of the People, but also at the pleasure of the States. This is one of the major talking points we "states' rights" peeps tend to pontificate about. But of course, the 17th amendment was passed, so now the States no longer have representation in congress. Sucks for them, right?
But I digress. My point here is that Perry fired a tiny little shot over the head of the Federales today by standing up and not letting the federales dictate to Texas how we have to spend this stimulus money. Hell, it was our money to begin with, and the federales seem to think it belongs to them now.
(Oh dear Lord, please don't let him get started on how how the 16th amendment, titled "Congress Can Tax Incomes Any Way They Want And The States Can't Do S**t About It" was passed in 1913, the same year as the 17th, or "Hey States! Screw You!" amendment previously referenced)
Uhh, sorry, Nyquil and political fervor don't mix well. Anyway, Perry's actions today actually gave me a little respect for the man. He's still got a long way to go before I'll vote for him, but flipping the federales a tiny little "bird" scores mucho points IMHO. Anything we can do to reassert the idea that the feds are created at the pleaseure of the individual states and the people.
Okay.....putting away the Magic Mystery Soapbox (for now)
So like I said, this was a tiny tiny ray of light amongst the darkness of Stupid People who never took the time to learn about the Constitution and just blindly accept whatever the federales and their media cohorts spoon feed them. (Wow, I think I might have just set off a flag in the federales' monitoring systems...where's my cone of silence when I need it??)
Uhh, so....oh yeah: tiny ray of light, blah blah blah. And then this:
(Oh please, don't let him get started on the whole "astronomy vs astrology" debate. We'll be here all night...)
For those of you who glance at the daily horoscope and just laugh, this isn't meant for you. For those who use horoscopes or star charts to plan their daily and future lives....
You know what? I'm just letting that one go - to each his own, even if it makes you look like a complete and total moron (said in a cool Darth Vaderish voice, giving my opinion gravitas)
But that video - they made a song about the zodiacal signs???? With interpretive dance???
Tiny ray of light in the darkness......SLAMMED INTO OBLIVION! The stupid! It burns!!!!
Ahh, time for more Nyquil. If nobody comes after me at 2 AM, the guys in the suits and dark shades even at night, well, maybe I'll post again soon. In the meantime:
Go Rick Perry! (and I am actually serious about that. No, I mean it - it's for real! What, you don't believe me? Yeah, I know were talking about Ol' Mofo, but still....yes, I know, me praise Perry? Just accept it on faith, okay? I don't give a you-know-what if you think I'm full of it - I am proud to call him governor for the first time. EVER. Yes, I know that brings us one more sign closer to the Apocalypse, the next being when I miss a LOST episode and then DON'T catch it online the next day. Dude, give it up - I am really proud of Perry, okay, so just back off. Go read your horoscope or something.)
Dang. Out of Nyquil.
No proofing, no spell check - this is the RAW feed straight from my brain onto your screen, but without the messy organic stuff.
This is a mashup of Google Earth (via browser plugin) with some 3D graphics. Drive your Monster Milktruck anywhere. Just type in the location (a name, or lat/lon coordinates) and let the fun begin.
Hint: Try a location like Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs, or somewhere with hilly terrain.
Here's a screencap from GotG:
M.Milktruck is a certified time waster, due to the fun involved. Or maybe it's just me. Who knows?
I need to quit following politics. I mean, REALLY need to give it up. Just now I was watching the talking heads on TV debating the revival of the Fairness Doctrine. I listened to the same tired lines from the libs - "talk radio is all conservative, we need a balance, blah blah blah". Why do they always focus on talk radio? I haven't heard one word from the left regarding television (CNN, MSNBC, FOXNews, CNC, the big 3 networks, etc). Don't viewers of TV deserve 'balance'? Anyone who watches broadcast news/opinion with an open mind can realize that there is a HUGE bias in the media towards the left. Witness the near-Messianic presentation of Obama on the network news. Whereas Bush could do no right, Obama can do no wrong.
Now, dont get me started on George Bush. He did alot of stuff wrong - ALOT. But he did have some positive actions, such as trying on 12 different times to get Congress to fix the FHA/Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac mess. Of course, the Dems in Congress nixed him every time, but I never heard any of that mentioned on TV news.... NOT ONCE. With the exception of Fox News, the only media presenting another side of the political landscape is.... talk radio!! When the Iraq war was going badly, the TV peeps went after Bush like hyenas taking down a gazelle. But....when the troop surge actually began to work, when Iraq (at least so far) seemed to be stabilizing, the media response was "(yawn)".
The opposite applies to President Obama. He can do no wrong. Judging from the media coverage, I would have to conclude that Obama is greater than Jesus of Nazareth. (Pause to look for looming lightning from the sky...whew, none). Okay, I'm being facetious, a little, but there is a definite TV media bias towards the left (not including Fox, of course). So why not apply the Fairness Doctrine to TV, cable and whatnot? It seems the libs have a double standard, ha ha.
Okay, I went astray from my original intent here. So I was watching these guys debate the need for the revival of the Fairness Doctrine, and the opinions of the two idiots who were for it were just grating on my 'Free Marketplace/Libertarian" nerves. That meant my blood pressure was increasing. And then I came across a little article here detailing a bill sponsored by Texas' own illustrious cowboy senator John Cornyn. Check this video out:
And remember, this isn't a spoof -this political ad actually aired here in Texas. BTW, I didn't vote for Cornyn in 2008 or Rick Noriega, the dem opponent. I voted for Yvonne Schick, the Libertarian candidate. Anyway, so Big Bad John has sponsored a bill in the senate (s.436) that requires anyone who provides internet access to keep records of all users for 2 years, to aid in the effort to catch internet child porn people. A worthy goal - anyone who would do something like that to an innocent child deserves..well, they deserve a punishment that the Constitution would probably call 'cruel and unusual", but since the US Constitution doesn't mean much anymore these days, why not dole out some cruel and unusual punishment for pedophiles? In fact, we could offer a prize for the most creative sentence - send in your ideas today!
Oops, sorry, I went OT again. Anyway, like I said, catching pedocreeps is a worthy goal. But the bill sponsored by Cornyn would require ANYONE who provides internet access to keep records. This would naturally include Suddenlink, AT&T, Comcast, Verizon, and so on. But the language of the bill means it applies to those who have a home wi-fi network as well. Do you have a wireless network at home? Do you have 2 years worth of records of who accesses your network? I didn't think so. IMHO, Congress has no power to make you keep them, either. Read the constitution. As far as I can tell, the powers delegated to Congress don't include making you keep records of peeps who log on to your home wifi network. (Of course, there are a LOT of things Congress doesn't have the power to do, but they've done them anyway, Republican and Democrat alike - they've all equally pissed all over our Constitution this past century)
Oops, sorry - I got on my "Constitution" soapbox again. My point from all this is that listening to the Fairness Doctrine zombies got my BP jetting up, and then reading about s.436 caused a huge spike. I don't have any Lisinopril handy, so I've changed the channel and closed the Firefox tab with the s.436 article. I may have to watch the Carmina Burana video again.
I just re-read this a little, trying to proof it. When I get agitated about a topic, I tend to write in an aimless yet ranting style that has no theme, and can even be a bit hard to follow. I don't feel like rewriting this, so just pretend it all makes sense and flows evenly from paragraph to paragraph while I look for some Xanax.
(update)
I forgot to mention I fired off an indignant email to Senator John Wayne, uh, I mean, Cornyn. There was a 10,000 character limit, and I only used about 7,500. Anyway, check out this portion of the automated reply I just got:
If you need immediate assistance regarding an urgent problem you are experiencing with the federal government, visit the "Help With Federal Agencies" section of the website for details on how to proceed so that your difficulties are brought to my attention as soon as possible.
I wonder if the "Help With Federal Agencies" section of Cornyn's website has anything labeled "Help With A Tyrannical Federal Government That Refuses To Recognize The Rights Of The States And Does Not Recognize The Limits Imposed On The Federal Government By The 10th Amendment Of The US Constitution"?
(quoted from Chevy Chase in the Christmas Vacation movie, after he goes on his rant near the end)
I need something for my headache. Is it a caffeine headache? No. Perhaps the powerful pressure changes in the atmosphere making the wind gust outside? No. Dehydration? No.
I've got a headache because I almost literally fell of the couch while watching this video of Karl Orff's "Carmina Burana". Have you ever laughed so hard you see stars? Laughed so hard that you have no air left inside you, and yet you can't stop laughing in silent paroxysms? I was okay until it got to the "Salsa Cookies" - then my head was pounding and even so, I couldn't stop laughing.
Here's the video. If it doesn't make you laugh, then your sense of humor simply isn't as well developed as mine.
Well? Tell me you blew snot all over your laptop screen, please. (Not that I did that, but.....well, maybe I did. Still not as bad as Mom spilling Dr. Pepper on my laptop while we were in Corpus Christi and parked in a nearby motel parking lot, because our motel didn't have wifi. Technology FAIL)
I know I said I'd post details of the dog rescue story, but I don't feel like doing that right now. So enjoy a couple of pics of the pups (there are 10, but not all are present in either photo), compliments of Molly's new owner, Teresa.
Then I have the perfect video for you! This is also good for those of us who try to explain LOST to some noob - the expression on Carmen Reyes' face is exactly what I've seen on other peeps faces as I attempt to explain the whole mythos behind LOST.
